Harry Potter and Friends Visit Fanfiction
by sexy-fleur
Summary: Ok, Hogwarts gets computers and the kids go to fanfiction! It's a pathetic story....but i was on Root Beer when I wrote it. don't flame. i can't help it if i'm drunk on soda.....but hey, look at the bright side: i won't be doing a continuation !!!!!!!


A/N: Ok, right now i'm DRUGGED UP on A&W Root Beer. I just downed about three and a half cans....this is going to be scary.  
  
Disclaimer: I'm too soda-drunk to write a disclaimer. Sorry, Joanne :)  
  
  
Harry Potter and Friends Visit Fanfiction  
  
  
One day, something very, very cool happened. Dumbledore made an announcement at breakfast:  
  
"Students and teachers, friends and foe, I would like to make an announcement. The Ministry of Magic has found a way to run 'computers' without Muggle electricity! Now there will be two computers for ever school house!" Everyone cheered.  
  
Later that day, Ron, Hermione, and Harry were surfing the Internet. After "accidentally" stumbling across a few porn sites ("Sheesh," Ron had said, "no wonder Muggles are so messed up."), they found something called "fanfiction.net."   
  
"Hey, look!" said Hermione. "They're stories and stuff!" They read a bunch of "Authors" stories, which were boring. Finally, they went to the book forum. They read stories from The Chronicles of Narnia, Phantom of the Opera, and Les Miserables. Finally, they noticed the "Harry Potter" forum.  
  
"Woah!" said Harry. "My name!" They clicked.  
  
In there were TONS of Harry Potter stories! The kids were overwhelmed. They started reading one...  
  
"Um, you guys?" asked Ron, after they had read about 20 fics.. "Why do they keep fixing me up with Hermione?"  
  
"I was wondering that too, Ron," said Hermione.  
  
"Whatever." The two looked at each other weirdly.   
  
"Hey," said Harry, "look at this one! It's me and Ginny...we get married...and I kill her?"   
  
"These Muggles are REALLY messed up," Ron pointed out. They started reading another one....  
  
"Hey!" said Harry. "In this one I go to live with Sirius!"  
  
"Well duh, Harry, it was bound to happen anytime."  
  
"Yeah, you're right..." said Harry. Then he got a sudden flood of inspiration. "Hey, that's it!"  
  
"WHAT'S it?" questioned Hermione.  
  
"These stories are our destinies! THEY PORTRAY THE FUTURE!!"  
  
"Hey, cool! Now I get to marry....Ron." Hermy's face fell.   
  
For like 10 hours they kept reading stories. They started commenting on them:  
  
"Look, in this one I marry Cho!"  
  
"Why do they keep making Seamus and Dean gay?"  
  
"All right, WHO'S fixing me up with Draco?!?!?!"  
  
"Hey! I'm not gay!"  
  
"Eew, this one's bad....I did REAL naughty stuff with Tom Riddle? Eew!!!!!!!"  
  
"Oh, hush it Harry, this one's even worse than that! Look! They're making Crabbe and Goyle homosexuals!"  
  
"And in this one I marry Neville!"  
  
"And in this one Sirius is having an affair with Ginny!"  
  
"And in this one Snape sings the 'Thong Song!'"  
  
"And in this one Neville marries Ginny!"  
  
"And in this one Snape and Lupin go on a fling!"  
  
"And in this one, Harry, your parents come back to life!"  
  
"Cool!"  
  
"And this one portrays Harry's parents when they're at Hogwarts!"  
  
"And in this one Ron officially bans the word 'git' from his vocabulary."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"You gotta face it, Ron, that word IS getting really old." Anyway....  
  
"Oh wow, Fred marries Alicia Spinnet!"  
  
"And George marries Katie Bell!"  
  
"And McGonagall and Dumbledore go on an exotic island vacation!"  
  
"And Harry gets murdered by Voldemort...FINALLY!"  
  
"Why do all these girls have crushes on Draco?"  
  
"So? This one girl named "Firenze" has a crush on Neville! AND she stole that centaur's name!"  
  
"And I become an Auror!"  
  
"And in this one I get hooked on cocaine!"  
  
"And this one's called 'Ron Kills Harry!'"  
  
"And in this one Lucius Malfoy falls in love with me!"  
  
After those 10 hours the kids had this major preconceived notion that Muggles were very, very crazy, and all they wanted to do was take over the world by mutilating Harry Potter.  
  
  
  
THE END  
  
  
  
A/N: Note to self: never drink Root Beer again in my life.  



End file.
